"Have I Got A Long Way To Run?"

I ran today for the first time in three or four weeks (it's been at least as long as I've had the gout problem, and probably even before that, when I was sick). Really, I haven't run much since about early July, maybe late June. There were always excuses--the weather, time, the heat, didn't feel up to it, I was out of town, I was out of town again, I was getting ready for school, I was sick, I had gout, I'm working full time and attending school, aliens invaded and I had to fight them off using nothing but my Gameboy Advance SP and a roll of duct tape...y'know, stuff.

So when I laced up the ol' running shoes this afternoon, I was a little apprehensive about what the results of the run would be to say the least. I figured any number of things could go wrong, not least of which would be that the gouty foot (which still aches occasionally, but not enough to even have an effect on my stride, thank God) would start hurting like hell and making walking difficult for the next week or so, nevermind running.

But I was pleasantly surprised. Running felt good today. There's always been a kind of satisfaction in it for me, because I know I may not be the fastest or have the greatest distance, but it was still something I was capable of doing without screwing up really bad, and the only person I ever compete against is myself (or occasionally other random runners I see out on the streets, but they never know we're racing). Being able to run again felt right, and I'm filled with a sense of satisfaction at a job well-done, even if I didn't go very far or very fast. I did as well as could be expected, given the circumstances.

Most of all, though, managing to run today convinced me that I'm ready to start running several times a week again. This has several benefits--I can start working on getting my distance back up to where it should be (three miles), I can enjoy the beautiful weather (while it lasts), and I can try to lose some weight.

I will admit, that last one is a major part of wanting to get back to exercising regularly. Given a choice in the matter, I could care less about being able to run three miles or running them fast enough to impress my father or brother. I could care less about being athletic and active. Given a choice, I'm lazy. I'm lethargic. I prefer sitting around doing indoor things. I like the outdoors, and I love hiking and enjoying nature. But hiking has a purpose to me--by hiking, I can go somewhere and see something amazing and beautiful, and enjoy scenery that I don't get to enjoy here. Running has the benefit of helping me get slimmer and occasionally blow off steam, but nine times out of ten, it's a task, a chore, something that is part of my routine, the same as having to go to the bathroom or do the dishes--it's needful, perhaps, but not something I'll take much joy in. Don't mistake my sense of satisfaction at running for enjoying running--I find it tedious, almost onerous, but it's something I can see the value of, and I do feel better when I've been running regularly.

Anyway, my real goal is to start losing weight again. I've gained a lot over the past year especially, and I'm back up to where I was at the end of my sophomore year of college (when I started working for my dad for the first time and weighed...well, more than was good for me). I want to lose at least five or ten pounds before the 15th, when I'm going to Arkansas for another wedding. That's doable, I know it is. It's just a matter of will power.

Which brings me to my next point--I hereby state for the record that I am giving up soda pop. No more soda pop at work, or when I'm sitting around the apartment, or driving places (unless absolutely necessary to keep me awake on the highway), and not when I'm eating out (which I'm also gonna cut back on). One of my major sources of empty calories is soda pop, and cutting it out should remove anywhere from 400-800 calories per day, easy. I need to drink more water anyway to help keep the gout under control.

It really annoys me that I have to worry this much about these things at the age of 24. But I know I can do better and look better than I do right now. I know I can lose this weight--I've done it before, several times (once per summer for three years, actually). Admittedly, I had help those times, and my track record on my own is rather woeful, but I've got to try. Nothing gets done if I don't at least try, right?

~chuck

Song of the Moment: Grateful Dead, "Touch of Grey"