"Dreams Die Hard And We Watch Them Erode"

So I went home yesterday to watch Clif and Scott play in their alumni soccer game. That was a pretty embarrassing display, I thought. I mean, they lost 8-2. Pathetic.

Also got a bunch of songs to play. Dad got several new songbooks (ELO, John Mellencamp, and Bob Seger), and Clif was kind enough to bring home several of the books he had (Dylan, George Harrison, the Beatles, and Tom Petty), so I had lots to choose from. Clif sent his four books with me, and I got photocopies of stuff from the three dad had picked up (and then Clif took those three books back to Arkansas with him). Found out I can play Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll," which is pretty cool (admittedly, it's only G, D, and C, so it wasn't particularly tough to learn).

The one annoying thing about the weekend was that my dad decided to be the destroyer of dreams. He went on a good thirty minute rant about how I was focusing too narrowly on what I wanted, that I needed to broaden my area of focus, be more open to different possibilities, and give up on getting into a top school and just settle for whatever will accept me, because a PhD is a PhD and just having one will be good enough to get me a job. Trying to explain academic politics to my father is like trying to explain computer graphics to a caveman--there's simply no understanding, and it has absolutely no bearing on his existence.

The problem is really that, despite what my father thinks, a PhD does not automatically guarantee me a job when I graduate. There's a glut of PhDs out there, too many to really count anymore. For every job that opens up, there are hundreds of people applying. The competition is heavy. He doesn't really understand why the school I get the PhD from is so important. I'm hoping I can explain it to him, make him understand why it's important to go to a top-notch school, but I have very little faith that he'll actually listen. He's hasn't the past four or five times I've tried, so why would he now?

Beyond that, it was a good weekend. Got fed, got my car washed and cleaned up beauitfully (so now it can rain again), and visited with the siblings. Also went over Clif's Senior Seminar paper with him, which went well.

Concert news: got cash from dad to get the John Mellencamp tickets, so that's aces. He also mentioned that the Wallflowers are playing up in Tulsa sometime in April (he thinks it's April). That makes me feel giddy and gooey in ways I really can't discuss in polite company.

~chuck

Song of the Moment: Bob Seger, "The Fire Inside"