"As I'm Leaving"

Well, dad's coming over in the morning to help me load the last of my stuff. I'll have everything out of the apartment by the end of the day tomorrow. That leaves Friday to finish any unfinished business--any cleaning that still needs to be done, checking out with the apartment manager, and going to collect my paycheck.

As I've said, I'm rather sad to be leaving OU in a lot of ways, but I'm also looking forward to the next step in my life. It's time to move on, as it were.

Goodbye, Norman. You've been a decent enough town to live in for the past three years, football seasons and stupid, inconsiderate drivers aside. This has been a good place to recover my sense of self after that last tough year at Ozarks, a good place to decide where I want to go in life and what I want to do. I think I have a much better idea of where I'm headed now, figuratively speaking, than I did three years ago. I arrived here a very uncertain, slightly defeated person. I was angry with myself for failing to get into the graduate programs I wanted to attend, I was angry that I'd had to make (what I saw as) a retreat to Oklahoma. Then I was upset that I didn't finish my Master's degree in a year and a half as I'd originally believed I could (I've since realized I must've had some pretty powerful delusions going). Now I kinda know what I want to do with my life, have a few different possible plans, and things are generally looking up.

Farewell, Oklahoma. My family is still here, will remain here, and so I'll also have something of a home here. Part of me is left in this place, and I think I'm the better for having lived here.

~chuck

Song of the Moment: John Mellencamp, "Rain on the Scarecrow"