"We Didn't Start The Fire"

Friday was an eventful day, to say the least. Had a conference with my advisor about my Master's Thesis. He had some very constructive things to say about it; first and foremost that it needs a lot of work. But at least he told me the sort of work it needs, gave me some really good stuff to look at and for, and he said that it was still workable. Granted, I'll probably be graduating in the summer instead of May, but that's not a big deal because it doesn't interfere with me attending Ohio State in the Fall (assuming, of course, that they accept me. Still haven't heard yet).

Spent the evening hanging out with Ev, watching anime and chatting about damn-near everything under the sun. It seems as though I actually had some profound things to say this evening, and I think I may've helped Ev out on a couple of sticky points he's been having trouble dealing with.

Also got a call from James, Heather, and Alison (aka Bob) a little after midnight, wishing me a happy birthday (I'm now 24 and all old 'n' stuff). It was good hearing from them, and I was especially happy to hear from James about upcoming Terry Pratchett novels (huzzah! Pratchett's next is another Granny Weatherwax novel). The one downside to the call (other than the fact that I couldn't talk for a real long time) was that it made me suddenly miss Ozarks and a couple of people specifically a lot more than I have in months. Mostly, it made me miss Heather and Amanda Erisman.

I don't really know how much detail I want to go into about this, especially since it's been a long day, I don't know how much I'll say if I get real deep into it, and I don't know how much private stuff I really want to share (though I'm 99% sure neither of them reads this thing). But those two are probably two of my absolute closest friends ever, and I hardly ever get to talk with them. Though really, if I were being honest, I don't miss talking with them the most. I miss their presence the most. I miss just being around them, hanging around and not doing anything important or profound. Those two understand me better in a lot of ways than I understand myself.

They're two very different people. Heather is the sister I never had, and we have a rapport that I think some married couples would envy. She's a bit goofy, but a wonderfully warm and caring soul. We helped each other survive a lot of crap at Ozarks. Heather was my comforter, my ward, and my confidant. There is still very little--if anything--that I wouldn't tell her if she asked.

Amanda is stubborn. That really tells you almost everything you need to know, and probably tells you why she and I are good friends. I react to stubbornness by being more stubborn myself, and she does the same. It's like two brick walls slamming into each other again and again. She's loud, brash, and likes to laugh at me when I do something stupid (which, around her, is pretty much all the time). But she's also one of the most generous people I've ever met, and willing to do anything and everything for those she cares about. And her smile lights up the whole room. You want to be a better person, just so you can see her smile again. Her laughter is infectious and genuine, something you don't encounter much anymore. There were days that the only reason I made it through to the next one was that I wanted to see her smile again.

Heather and Amanda are also two of the very few people who have actually seen me cry. It doesn't happen very often, and I'm usually rather embarrassed when it does occur. Like I said, they both know more about me than I do. They get to see the ridiculously animated and perhaps even charming Chuck, but they also get to see the mopey, depressed, barely willing to keep trying Chuck. Admittedly, a lot of other people have seen the latter as well (Chris and JP especially, having lived with me for three years), but Heather and Amanda always got it in concentrated doses when I couldn't stand to keep it inside anymore.

I love them both dearly. I miss them both dearly. I wish they were closer. I wish I could still just walk down the hall and visit.

I'm probably going to Ozarks for Alumni Weekend. They'll both be there. Amanda Webster will be there, as will Bob, the Noise Monkey, and a handful of others I still care about at that school. I look forward to the weekend; it may be one of my last there with them.

~chaos cricket

Song of the Moment: Dire Straits, "On Every Street"