"Enough A Cynic To Believe"

Well, I'm back in Norman again. I would've waited until tomorrow morning to come home, except for two things:

(1) I didn't want to have to wake up early tomorrow and drive back to Norman from Shawnee. I'd rather sleep until noon.

(2) Got something in the mail in Shawnee from Ohio State. It was a notice that they'd received my FAFSA and a form that they wanted me to fill out that was about a Graduate Tuition Fee Waiver.

Now, that second one got me thinking. I hadn't received anything like this from either Wisconsin or Washington U. I know I sent my FAFSA information to all three schools--I filled it out online, so they should have received it within a couple of days of its completetion way back in like January. Why didn't I receive such notification from Wisconsin or Washington U, then?

Besides, the second page in the letter, the thing about Graduate Tuition Fee Waiver...that got me thinking. It got me thinking maybe I've been accepted to Ohio State.

Now, they'd send the FAFSA notification thing to Shawnee because that's still my permanent address. But my Norman address is the one I put on all my applications and such, so an acceptance letter would show up here. With this in mind, I packed up and was out the door a scant half hour after returning to Shawnee from my grandparents' place. I don't think I spent 48 hours at home this week. Ah well.

Anyway, long story short, there was nothing in my mailbox from Ohio State, so the waiting continues. However, I'm a lot more confident about Ohio State now.

It also kinda relates back to something my mom mentioned in the car on the way to Ponca City Thursday. She said something about how she'd been praying about me and graduate school and the like the other night, and suddenly she got this feeling of overwhelming peace about the whole situation. She said she had this sense that it was all going to work out exactly as it should, that I'd be accepted and that I'd be going to Ohio State in the fall. Evidence seems to be pointing in that direction at the moment, and I certainly hope she's right. Oddly enough, when she mentioned that to me, I'd felt a bit more peaceful about it all. My mom is something of a worrier, as all good mothers are to an extent. She's concerned about damn-near everything, always worried about whether or not we've done everything we need to do, whether or not we're adequately prepared for every contengency...I swear, she's taken the Boy Scout motto of "Be Prepared" to its hyperlogical extension. I know that the graduate school question has been preying on my mind of late, and I know it's been bothering her just as much. To hear her suddenly not be worried about it...it took a heavy weight off my mind, let me tell you. Perhaps more than anything this week, that really was a relief.

Just got done watching the movie Masked and Anonymous, which stars Bob Dylan, John Goodman, Luke Wilson, and Jeff Bridges. I'm still not sure what to make of the film. It's very surreal. Dylan's character was almost straight out of one of his songs, an aging cynic who doesn't really know what to expect next from the world except more trouble. It was interesting, at least, and some of the reinterpretations of old Dylan tunes (both by Dylan himself and by various other artists...and not always in English) were intriguing. I'm glad I picked it up, but it'll take a couple more viewings before it makes any sense, I think.

Oh, and just one more week until I turn 24. Send well wishes and cash gifts if'n you're so inclined.

~chaos cricket

Song of the Moment: Bob Dylan, "Cold Irons Bound"