"Say Goodbye To Hollywood"

In a statement, Hollywood said they felt they weren't making enough money. I, for one, am shocked.

Okay, because I'm a nice guy and like stating the obvious, let me tell you exactly how to fix this problem, Hollywood:

1. Stop charging so much for a movie ticket. I mean, seriously, $10.50? Folks are only going to go see the flicks they really want to see when movies cost that much (and that's not factoring in things like popcorn and soda, which are also ridiculously expensive). It's cost-prohibitive for a date, really. Folks start to look at the cost of a DVD--which isn't anymore than a movie for two, really--and decide it might be better to watch the movie in the comfort of their own home, whenever they want, without screaming babies and annoying theatre patrons. It's not a hard decision between seeing it immediately and waiting a little bit to watch it over and over again.

2. Stop rehashing the same four or five movies over and over again. This means sequels, remakes, movies based on old TV shows, and crap like that. There are thousands of interesting stories and ideas out there to work with, but Hollywood keeps using the same plots, characters, and stories over and over again because they are afraid to take risks. I'm kinda sick of seeing an endless parade of sequels and remakes (I mean, Final Destination 3? Were the first two merely penultimate destinations or something?).

3. Stop demeaning your fanbase. When you accuse your patrons of being thieves and cheats and abuse them on a constant basis, why are you then surprised that they don't really want to see your crappy movies? Treat your source of income with respect, and they'll watch your stuff.

4. Cut back on the bloat. Do we really need films that cost hundreds of millions of dollars? It's not like those megabudgets are really making better films. I mean, Michael Keaton just managed to make a flick for less than $1 million, and it's rumored to be pretty damn good (a big hunk of the budget went into some of the special effects; the actors all made $100 a day, which is less money than I make). But Chronicles of Narnia? Dear God, how much did that exercise in mediocrity cost?

Okay, that's my rant for the morning. Off to work for me.

~chuck

Song of the Moment: Van Morrison, "Listen to the Lion"