"Mother We Just Can't Get Enough"

Well, got my 30 page Tolkien paper finished up a few hours ago. It's been a fairly busy several days since I last wrote. Finally felt well enough Wednesday to start writing. Had six pages by the end of Wednesday. Had 20 by the time I finally collapsed this morning around 4.30 or 5.00 (note to self--staying awake all night is all well and good if you've not been sick for the better part of a week and have actually been eating enough to give you the energy to do so). Got up this morning and added another eight and a bit pages, added a Works Cited and Title pages, emailed it off to the professor (he's out of town, and wants our final exams and my paper via email). Then I went and actually paid my rent (which I should have done Monday, but...that was Monday. We all remember Monday, right? Yeah, I couldn't hardly walk across my apartment on Monday, there was no way I was walking across campus).

While I was out paying rent and returning books to the library (on time for once!), I happened to run into Beth and her mother (long story involving her mother actually trying to get into Norman yesterday, but I'll save that for tomorrow or the next time I don't really have anything to post about in particular. I'm a man on a mission here). So here I am--haven't showered yet, because I've been typing all day, and I figured if I was gonna walk around campus in the heat of May in Oklahoma, I should wait until after I'm done with that to shower. I haven't shaved in a few days, 'cause I've been lazy and busy. And I'm wearing my glasses, again because I've been writing and because I'm lazy. I've just got some old running shorts on (don't worry, my "running shorts" are actually more like basketball shorts--really long and loose. I wasn't about to go wandering around in those skimpy near-thongs that runners call "shorts"), a ratty old undershirt, and yesterday's overshirt just tossed on over it so I'm not a complete slob. Later jokingly accused Beth of having planned that random encounter. On the other hand, when we were introduced, her mother said, "this is The Chuck?" I found the definite article amusing. Guess I'm singular or something. Beth said it's mostly because virtually everyone else she knows of, she knows more than one person by that name. Not so with Chuck--I'm unique and stuff.

Anyway, I've been all productive and stuff the past couple of days, but my work still is not done. Yes, the Tolkien paper is finished and sent, but I still have to do the take home exam for that class. And I need to do it today, really. And I have no motivation to do it. Not only that, I haven't the slightest clue how to even start going about writing this damn thing. The question doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and I don't really know how to answer it at the moment. What I'm thinking will probably happen is I'll take a break from this crap, not think about history for a while, and reapproach it later tonight, when I've rested a little and had a few hours to enjoy myself and not feel so pressured to get crap done.

It's 6.00 pm on the bloody last day of finals. I shouldn't be this stressed still. This time last year, I was kickin' back, having spent most of the week working in the writing center (well, not "working"...more like "reading Terry Pratchett novels and doodling"). Even last semester wasn't so bad. Why is it the less structure I have, the more stressed I seem to be?

~chaos cricket

Song of the Moment: Alice Cooper, "School's Out"