How do you tell someone that you have feelings for them, when they seem oblivious to any subtle hints, and you're afraid being too direct will make them uncomfortable? Seems like the sort of question you get to stop asking yourself by the time you graduate high school, right? Well, maybe so, but I haven't really had a serious romantic relationship since high school, so I might be kind of stunted.
But honestly, what can I do? I like this girl, a lot. She's damn near perfect--smarter than I could ever hope to be, funny and warm and cute and interested in what I have to say, and able to make the things she talks about seem interesting, even if I have no idea what she's talking about. And she doesn't mind my weird obsessions, like the Beatles, or anime, or videogames. Hell, she's actually willing to partake of some of them with me, and just smiles knowingly when I mention the others (she actually thought roleplaying sounded fun). I don't think I'd go so far as to say I'm in love yet--I haven't known her nearly long enough to make that sort of bold statement--but this is a girl whom I could see myself falling in love with very easily. And I think she just sees me as that guy she hangs out with. I keep second-guessing myself. She probably thinks I'm some goofy-looking geek, a dork who can be a good friend, but nothing more. But I'm already that for any number of girls; why can't she be different?
I dunno, maybe she still can be. There's still time left in the school year, before each of us graduates from our particular degree program and heads off for parts unknown. Between now and May, who knows what could happen? Anything, right? Or maybe nothing at all. I don't honestly know, and that's probably the most exciting and nerve-wracking thing of all.
~chaos cricket
Song of the Moment: Van Morrison, "Goldfish Bowl"
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