"With A Little Help From My Friends"

So I was discussing social group dynamics with a coworker of mine last night (yes, this is what he and I do for fun--discuss social theory and anime. Sometimes at the same time. He's an intellectual, and I pretend to be one, so it works). He said he'd noticed that in social groups on college campuses that have graduate programs, a group of undergraduates will often have a "token graduate student." He'd noticed these groups were, in general, more stable, but didn't know why. He also didn't know why there'd be one or two grad students in a group of undergrads.

Then we figured it out, and it seemed blindingly simple--these grad students were most likely only recently graduated from their undergraduate work. At a large institution like OU, I'm sure a high number of the people who decide to get an advanced degree remain at OU. It makes sense--you already know the professors, you know the program and what's available, and it's just easier. Granted, not everyone does, and sometimes you get students like me, who are from a different school. But then again, Ozarks didn't have a graduate program (if they had, I'd have probably continued attending there). So the token graduate student was, until recently, an undergraduate, and this was simply the group he'd been in prior to moving on to the next degree. I know that several of the people I'm friends with were not in the same year I was at Ozarks, or even if they were, a good number of them did not graduate when I did. Even though I went off for graduate school, I was still friends with them. I had the unique opportunity to be the token grad student in two social groups--one at Ozarks, and one here. In the Ozarks circle, it was usually like I'd never left when I went to visit. It felt normal, more like I was returning home than visiting from home. The OU circle, on the other hand, is composed of an old high school friend and several of the people she's introduced me to. This new circle also includes several students who have yet to complete their undergraduate degree, but some of those are also age peers. It's kinda weird, really.

But yeah, it all made sense when my coworker and I thought about it--why would someone abandon their social group just because they were done with their undergraduate degree? I mean, you're isolated enough as it is as a graduate student. You aren't on campus very much except for class or research, you take classes at different times from other students usually (all the history graduate seminar classes in the history department are at night). It would make sense that you'd want to retain your old social group for more than the obvious reason that these people are your friends and have been for a while now. There's the added fact that most graduate students do not socialize with one another. I've never gone out for a beer with a fellow grad student. Never gone over to their place just to hang out, or gone to see a movie. We see each other in classes, perhaps in the library. We are peers, but not friends. It's kinda weird. Also, I noticed a lot of the other graduate students around here are too narrow-focused, too serious in their endeavors, too concerned with becoming "professionals" to want to loosen up, relax, and even just smile. I think I'd go insane and strangle someone if I were like that. I need to interact with people, and while I still get to interact with my friends from Ozarks in a limited capacity, I need people I can call up and go visit without having to make long-term plans or worry about whether or not I have the whole weekend free to do so. I need people who are close enough that we can decide to go see a movie that evening 30 minutes before it starts, not 4 1/2 or 5 hours.

That seems like a weird place to end the rambling, but I'm not sure I have anything else to add. I guess I just consider myself lucky to be included in so many social groups, token grad student or not. To you, my friends, I say thank you.

~chaos cricket

Song of the Moment: Counting Crows, "Einstein on the Beach"