"The Best Thing About New York City Is You And Me"

So our trip to New York City was a success. I got to meet Michelle's grandparents, a couple of aunts and uncles, and some cousins. We did a quick, down-n-dirty trip through downtown NYC to see the Statue of Liberty and Times Square, both of which were nifty. Here's a rundown of the weekend:

Saturday morning: the four-hour drive up to The City isn't too bad. New Jersey isn't as disgusting as I thought it would be, though honestly I only saw whatever's along the Jersey Turnpike and was really just making an effort to get through the state as fast as possible.

Saturday afternoon: we arrive at Michelle's grandparents' place near Yonkers (possibly in Yonkers? I have no idea. I know that we got lost in Yonkers on the way there). They proceed to feed us. All those stereotypes about Italian women trying to feed you until you burst? They're true.

Saturday evening: various family members arrive to partake of a traditional take-out meal of pizza (called simply "pie"), calzones, and submarine sandwiches (called "wedges"). Many instances of "the poor Midwesterner doesn't know what the hell we're talking about" occur, most notably with my confusion about what the hell a wedge is. Turns out Michelle's grandfather is a storyteller like my grandfathers. This promises to be entertaining.

Sunday morning: a trip out to Uncle Jim's dental office, and Michelle gets some dental work done that she needed. I do a crossword puzzle and fiddle with Michelle's iPod, succeeding in compiling an entire playlist of stuff her uncle doesn't like.

Sunday afternoon: we head to Westchester, go to a dinner for a late lunch, then do a whirlwind tour of downtown NYC. I get to see the Statue of Liberty and Times Square. Sadly, it has been cleaned up. I didn't see a single hooker or wino. I feel somehow...cheated of an experience.

Sunday evening: we return to Michelle's grandparents' house to pick up said grandparents and head into the Bronx. We eat at a restaurant called Rigoletto's, which apparently is owned by the Mob (the guy who owns the place is currently in jail, apparently). While there, we are treated to an entertaining diversion by the guy at the table next to us who apparently watched The Sopranos too much. Phrases such as "I shot 'im, but I didn't mean to kill 'im" and "she shot him dead when he showed back up with the food" kept us amused for the duration of our meal. Michelle also happened to catch his enthusiastic reenactment of a stabbing with his fork and napkin. The food at this place is among the best food I have ever eaten. Period. Say what you want about the Mafia, they know how good food's supposed to taste, and they make damn sure you get it at their restaurants. Michelle's grandfather keeps talking about how the parking was better when the Mob guy ran things.

Sunday night: we stayed up until the wee hours listening to Michelle's grandfather tell stories of the old days. The man loves having an audience. Michelle and I finally give in around 1.30, but Michelle's grandparents apparently stayed up significantly later.

Monday morning: we planned on leaving at 10.00, but Michelle's grandfather kept making us take more food. Final count: four sandwiches, 1 gallon of olive oil, two olive jars of orange juice, four sodas, a bottle of wine, some glass servingware, some champagne glasses, and our leftovers from the previous night. I think he'd have given us more if we'd stayed longer.

Monday afternoon: the drive back from NYC took longer than the drive up there. More traffic. Headwind. Jersey is still a strange place. You're not allowed to pump your own gas there. S'truth. It's a state law. All the service stations are full-service, but gas prices were about thirty cents cheaper in Jersey than in New York. Cheaper than Virginia, too. But we made it back eventually and just sorta collapsed all evening.

Overall, it was a great trip. Michelle's grandfather told me at the end of the trip that I'd "passed the test." He didn't say what the test was, though he did mention that I'd "cheated" (presumably by marrying his granddaughter before I came up to visit). But they all seemed to like me pretty well, and I managed to avoid saying anything terribly stupid.

Also, they gave us a hell of a lot of money for the wedding. We're also gonna get the Bose iPod sound dock. To say that I'm excited is to grossly undersell the sentiment.

~chuck

Song of the Moment: My Morning Jacket, "It Makes No Difference"