"What Planet Is This?"

Well, I'm starting to finally get in a better mood, though I'm still not entirely sure why I was so depressed/moody all of last week. Perhaps it was the change in the weather, or the fact that I was only able to run like twice (legs were killing me, and weather was not permitting), or maybe just a bunch of crap happened right at the beginning of the week that colored the rest of the week in shades of gray, black, and other murky neutral tones.

Anyway, in the finest tradition of my rants, I'm gonna make fun of stupid people, because they're so damn plentiful and make it too damn easy.

The first person I want to attack/berate/make fun of is this guy who writes for the school paper. I won't mention his name, because it's not really pertinent, but suffice to say he's got high ideas of himself and a low opinion of anyone who disagrees with him. He's also an English major, so I think that might have something to do with his basic pompous nature.

Well, on Friday last, this guy wrote an article for the paper advocating paying the student athletes for all the hard work they do. Because the full scholarships, room and board, and special perks (like having someone like me available to proofread their papers for them) aren't enough. Because having their books provided, laptops loaned to them by the school, and receiving a free education isn't enough compensation. No, since this guy maintains that student athletes have to work twice as hard as regular students to maintain decent grades, and since he believes most student athletes think they'll go on to play professionally (even though [1] he admits that only about 1% of them will and [2] most of them don't actually think that, except for a lot of the football players), we ought to give them monetary compensation. Basically, he wants to pay them for having delusions of grandeur.

If the school's gonna do that, I want them to start paying me because I think I might be able to become a syndicated cartoonist someday, or at least be able to live off my comic (and hey, if I can convince them to pay me, I will be able to, just as the student athletes would be professional ones if they were paid. That's sorta how "professional" is defined: you get paid to do it). The idea is actually rather perverse, I thought, and I was offended down to my very soul by the idea.

Hell, here's an idea--why don't we get rid of all the student athletes and just hire professional athletes? We wouldn't have to give them room and board, or provide them with the academic center, or pretend we're interested in educating them like we do the student athletes (because I'm fairly certain most of the coaches and administration at this school are only paying lip service to the idea of "they're here for education." They're really here to bring the university lots of money). It's the perfect set up; all it lacks is common sense and a healthy dose of reality.

That was rather therapeutic.

~chaos cricket

Song of the Moment: Yoko Kanno & the Seatbelts, "Space Lion"

"Idiot Wind"

Today's rant is going to be a hodge-podge of the idiots I've had to deal with lately, because I think we'll all find it amusing and because if I don't blow off some steam, I may kill someone. The overwhelming idocy I seem to have to deal with on almost a daily basis startles me, especially since it doesn't all come from student-athletes.

The first idiot was here in the Writing Center, about two or three weeks ago, and was a student-athlete. I think I might have mentioned him--a tour came through, and this moron kept telling said tour that we wrote papers for him. As a result of his stupidity, we are limited in what we can and cannot do to a student's paper. One of the big things I'd do is help with word choice. Students, whether athletes or not, often use the wrong word. Either they don't have the vocabulary for what they're trying to say, or they just misuse a word. Whatever, it happens, even to me. So I'd suggest other words. Or I'd rework a sentence so it flowed better. Well, no more. Now all I can do is circle where the mistake is and tell there's a mistake. I can't offer suggestions on how to fix it. Stupid.

The next group of idiots were encountered this past Saturday during the OU/OSU game. I went for my jog during the third quarter, and as I was walking back, I saw a group of OU students (well, college-age guys wearing OU shirts) heckling a ten year old wearing OSU stuff. A ten year old. Am I alone in thinking that if they have to pick on a ten year old to win an argument, they really have no business being in college? Mind you, OSU fans were no better--as I continued walking, I came even with an older couple in orange. As we all walked past a house near the stadium, someone started up a call and answer "OSU" "Sucks." Well, this set the old guy off, and he starts complaining loudly about how asinine OU fans are. Which they are, but OSU fans are not innocent themselves. I mean, come on, people, it's a freakin' game you're getting worked up over here. How or why is this so damn important?

I sometimes wonder if all these morons are placed in my path simply to test my patience. Or maybe it's just indicative of football and its fans (the student-athlete who caused trouble a few weeks ago was a football player). This state's morbid fascination with all things college football is ridiculous and probably some sort of social disease. I keep wondering if it's airborne and whether or not I should wear a mask when I come to work.

In non-football-related stupidity, I think folks need to learn how to use their damn turn signals. Lemme explain--the little switch thing on the left side of your steering column? Yeah, that's the turn signal. If you push it up, the right turn signal flashes. Push it down, the left turn signal flashes. These are designed to be used before you turn. Not in the middle of the turn. Not after you've started the turn. Before. In case you're curious, it's to warn other people on the road what it is you're doing so they don't run into you. I swear, if I come across one more dipshit who doesn't know how to use these things, I'm going to go librarian poo.

Tune in next time, when I'll discuss merging onto the interstate and why that doesn't mean "driving 35 MPH" or "coming to a complete stop when no one's coming."

~chaos cricket

Song of the Moment: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "In the Dark of the Sun"